


Honorary Friday Nights

by Tempest_Raining



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adorable Bruce Banner, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avengers Family, Awesome Avengers, Awesome Pepper Potts, BAMF Jarvis (Iron Man movies), BAMF Pepper Potts, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Domestic Avengers, Gen, Good Loki (Marvel), James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Jarvis (Iron Man movies) is a Good Bro, Maria Stark's Good Parenting, Science Bros, Snarky Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Sneaky Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Team Bonding, Team as Family, Tony Stark Can Cook, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-04-17 08:00:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14184471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tempest_Raining/pseuds/Tempest_Raining
Summary: When do the occupants of Stark/Avengers Tower ever have the opportunity to all meet up with each other without a crazy, world-ending scenario? Friday night dinners of course!But it's not like every Friday night is free of save-the-world shit. The Avengers and company will just have to appoint Honorary Friday Nights.





	1. Anecdotes Over Dinner

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Everyone lives at the Tower.  
> 2\. Loki is good and an Avenger.  
> 3\. I can pick and choose my universe, because of artistic license. AKA, this is an AU.  
> 4\. I'm not entirely sure about all the characters I'm writing, so just go with it with whatever I decide to do with them.
> 
> Questions? (That may sound sarcastic, but seriously, are you confused and do you have questions?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It started mild, just with stories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #Trial run. 
> 
> I have three chapters planned, but I may continue if I get a good response and people want more (or if I just have more ideas) so let me know what you think. If you want more or have a specific idea or prompt, comment it and I'll see what I can do. No promises that I will write what you want, though.

It began on a Friday night.

The Avengers Team and a few of their friends were having a dinner party to celebrate some program that Tony and Bruce had been working on for schools that had been a major success in encouraging students in STEM subjects. Pepper and Tony had both insisted on everyone coming together to celebrate, with the exception of Thor and Loki, who were both off-world, Coulson, who was doing something sneaky for Fury that couldn't wait, Erik, who was on a date, and Helen, who was attending her aunt's second wedding in Hawaii. So it was that Tony, Bruce, Pepper, Happy, Rhodey, Natasha, Clint, Steve, Sam, Jane and Darcy ate a delicious pasta cooked by the surprisingly skilful Tony, while listening to the conversation that had turned into each of them telling various stories about the things they had to put up with from being the others' friends.

"-So Bucky _finally_ asked Alice out but she turned him down-" Steve was interrupted in his retelling of his best friend from Brooklyn in the 40s by the sounds of everyone's exclamations and, grinning he raised his finger, "Ah ah, wait, let me finish. So he asked her out and she turned him down because it turns out that all his attempts at courtship - all those flowers and the attempt at singing? Well, he'd been flirting with her twin sister by accident!" Everyone burst into laughter before Natasha began speaking.

"July, 2005. We'd just finished up a mission in Hamburg." Clint groaned, but then started grinning while Natasha continued, undeterred, "I'd got hit in the shoulder and was stuck in medical - Coulson has always been a stickler for proper medical protocol. There was one of the old doctors, Dr Kaile, who had something of a grudge against Clint. Clint says he's innocent, but I think it's because he knows that Clint is actually a walking disaster in medical - even when he's just visiting - so he was banned from seeing me after. I'm not going to lie, I was getting really bored, since I wasn't allowed to do anything, but I'd just resigned myself to spending two nights in there when I hear this tapping from the vent above me."

Everyone nodded, well used to the archer's odd but endearing habit of travelling around in the vents and already guessing where the story was heading. Natasha continued. "It was obvious who it was, and I just thought that Clint was going to stay up there and talk to me, but then I heard him move the cover off the top. He used his bow to lower a basket down to me, manoeuvred it so it spilled something onto my lap and then he lifted all his stuff up and just left." Here Natasha paused for a moment to add dramatic tension - no matter how much she denied being above that kind of thing - before huffing in amusement. "So I looked down, and there was a scruffy-looking kitten on my sheets," here there were more than a few laughs and amused glances at Clint, "and it had a ribbon tied around its neck, with a note that said  _'Hi, my name is Doughy. I'm in training to be SHIELD's first spy-cat.'"_ Everyone was sniggering now, and Clint looked unrepentant. "It was an especially interesting few days. Especially since it turned out that Kaile had a cat allergy but he couldn't figure out why he was continually sneezing." And everyone burst into laughter once more.

"Hey Jane, remember that girl from college who you thought had stolen your favourite spoon, so you made me make a distraction so you could steal all her sugar and then you ended up running out of her dorm with all her coffee and tea bags!" Darcy threw in with a laugh.

"Hey Darcy, remember how for the distraction you decided to set off an actual firework in the common room and attack everyone with a super soaker when the fire alarm went off?" Jane retorted.

Darcy laughed and smiled, "Yeah, good times."

"What about you, Bruce?" Pepper smiled at Bruce who had opened up a lot during his stay at the Tower, but who often seemed to hide in the background.

He gave a small smile, "Not really, most of my funny stories have come straight from working with Tony. And I think JARVIS tells them better anyway."

"Thank you, Dr Banner. I do believe that Miss Potts has some interesting stories to tell, though?" The British tones of JARVIS supplied innocently from nowhere.

 _"Traitor!"_ Tony hissed at a camera, making the others laugh.

Pepper smiled mischievously before she began telling the story of how Tony had angered a very important politician and when Pepper and sent him off to make it up to him, she didn't hear anything for two days until she got a call from the zoo. No one actually knows what exactly happened, Tony and the politician being too drunk to remember anything, but the zookeepers were saying that the two of them somehow managed to stop an elephant from being assassinated. When word got out, public approval for both SI and the politician had a major boost for a few months. The politician apparently still sent Christmas cards.

Bruce shook his head, "You know, I actually fully believe that since it's you, Tony."

"Hey! Don't get the wrong idea here," Tony implored everyone. "You're all just as crazy as me, you're just better than hiding it."

Rhodey huffed, "I don't know about that, Tony-"

"Remember how we met, Platypus. Remember it all."

Rhodey stilled and, to the astonishment of all, conceded, "OK, you may have a point there."

"And you, Miss Potts, remember how you earned the name 'Pepper'." Pepper hummed in affirmative before Tony looked at Darcy and Jane, "We met under pretty normal circumstances - well, as normal as possible considering - but our first conversation? Decidedly _not_ normal. And you can't pin _that_ one on me," Jane and Darcy glanced at each other before simultaneously looking back at him with a raised eyebrow, causing him to correct his statement to, "OK, mostly," to which they nodded in agreement.

Tony just _looked_ at the Avengers, "'Nuff said." They couldn't really argue that.

Then he turned to Happy, "Hap, you know exactly what I'm talking about." The man in question grimaced.

"Fair call, Boss."

Tony smirked then and raised his hands in a 'what can I say?' gesture, "Told ya. Y'all just as crazy as me. Speaking of crazy," Tony apparently decided to change the subject, "we should totally do this again."

Clint snorted, "What, dinner? Or the whole hanging-out-for-a-good-reason-instead-of-world-ending-disasters-and-alien-invasions thing?"

"Either? Both?" There were various noises of assent from around the table. 

"That sounds nice actually," Steve said with a sweet smile. "Who knows, maybe well find out that other people know how to cook."

Rhodey snorted, "Maybe, but you can count me and Pepper out. I kind of have a few policies when it comes to food," he added after a few curious looks. "One is that I like being able to taste the food I eat when I'm not on an op, and no offence Pepper, but your cooking is _terrible."_ Everyone looked to Pepper to see how she'd react.

She just shrugged, "None taken, I know what areas I'm skilled in, but cooking is not one of them."

"What're your other policies?" Natasha asked Rhodey after a few moments.

"My other main policy is that I don't cook for Tony. _Ever."_

"Why's that?" Jane asked, curious.

"Because in all the years we went to MIT together, this little shit," Rhodey jerked a thumb at his friend who sighed as though _he_ was being put upon, "didn't tell me he knew how to cook! I fed us for years and had to remind him to eat, and always made sure that there was food in the fridge, because _he_ sure as hell wouldn't keep it stocked himself, and I thought that he was going to _starve_ and that he either didn't know how to cook or was just so terrible that the food was inedible! _Then,_ just a few weeks before he graduated, I walk in on him making restaurant-quality carbonara and I discover he can cook better than I can! And he was only making it so he could impress some girl who was really into Italian cuisine! I'd been going out of my way for bloody _years_ to make sure that he had access to food, and the whole time he knew how to cook like- like-" Rhodey floundering in his impassioned speech just gestured to everyone's now empty plates while the others watched with amused sympathy, _"this!_ So now, I don't ever cook for Tony."

Sam nodded when Rhodey finished, "Perfectly understandable reaction, man."

"More like _over_ reaction," Tony put in, just to wind his best friend up. 

"No, Boss, it really isn't," Happy said.

"Well, at least Rhodey's policies will allow for us to eat Tony's food more often," Pepper put in with a teasing smile at her boyfriend, whose token protest wasn't able to hide his answering grin. 

"Speaking of," Darcy quickly got everyone's attention, "Tony, how come your cooking is so _good?_ Scratch that, how do you even _know_ how to make something that isn't coffee or comes out of a can? Seriously, Jane actually cannot. _I feel your pain, Rhodey."_  

Everyone glanced at Tony then, curious about the answer. Tony paused for a moment before answering in a fond, but slightly sad voice, "My mother was Italian. Before she married Howard, she was Maria Carbonell. She loved her culture, and was proud to be both an American and an Italian, so she took great pleasure in demonstrating her knowledge of both in all areas that she could, whether through language, fashion, attitude, music or cooking." Everyone watched as Tony looked at another time, lost for a moment in his memories, before his smile grew more playful and he snorted in amusement, "She couldn't cook for shit, though. She tried, and she had fun while doing it, but she was a much better musician than she was a cook. Our butler's wife, Ana, knew how to cook, though. She was Hungarian but she knew a lot of Italian dishes too. As a kid I used to help her make food for Mom, just- to remind her of home, I guess. I seemed to have had a knack for it, since the skill's always stayed with me. I only ever really make it when I have time or I have guests. It's mostly just muscle memory at this point, so it's easy to make. Plus, Italian food tastes really good." 

No one had really been expecting Tony to share something so personal, especially not about his mother, but they were all comfortable enough with each other to not be shocked by the show of trust from the usually guarded man.

"So why don't you have a butler yourself if you can never be bothered to cook?" Clint asked in the sudden lull.

"Well, I do have enough money to hire an army of private chefs if I wanted to, Bird-brain," Tony reminded him, "but unless the butler is Alfred Pennyworth, I'm not hiring. And even then, why would I need Alfred when I have JARVIS?"

"Why thank you, Sir. It's always nice to be valued above such an esteemed fictional character," JARVIS snarked.

"All that sass, J. I don't know where you get it, but I'm so proud," Tony suddenly perked up, "Hey, did I ever tell you guys about the time JARVIS hacked into Hammer Industries HQ and trapped Justin Hammer in his own elevator? No? Well it started when..."

The Tower's occupants spent the rest of the night regaling each other with stories, and thus is became the first of many Friday nights wherein they would all meet, have dinner and just hang out without a world-ending crisis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, yeah. Not my best work, but I wanted to write it and my muse thought it was fun so it happened anyway.


	2. You Asked For It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Monopoly.
> 
> It was definitely Clint's fault.

It began, as about half of the bad ideas in the Tower usually did, with Clint.

Most of the Tower's usual occupants were home at the same time. Neither Tony nor Bruce were stuck down in their labs for once, and nearly everyone had managed to gravitate towards the living room or the kitchen, clearly wanting company. In the end it got to the point that Tony just announced that they were now having one of their Friday night non-exploding hang out sessions. 

"Uh, Tony? It's actually Wednesday."

"Then I hereby declare this Wednesday to be an honorary Friday- Shut up, Agent, I can do what I want! It's my Tower, I'm king, Pepper - the queen - agrees with me, so it is now an honorary Friday and if you don't like it you don't have to stay and eat my chicken parmigiana. No? That's what I thought. Mwhahahaha! I am the supreme-!"

"Sir, DUM-E fell over in your lab and is stuck. He is will not be able to get up without assistance."

"Shit, I'll be right there, JARVIS. As for the rest of you, I shall return!"

A few hours and several bad decisions later, everyone found themselves sequestered in the spacious lounge room, sipping at champagne or iced tea (Bruce). 

"-And then I gave my out my home address on live, international television and challenged a terrorist to come kill me."

".....That seems to be very poorly thought out, friend Tony." Thor said after a moment of silence.

Loki was slightly wide eyed, "Indeed."

Pepper, Rhodey and Happy all snorted and JARVIS spoke innocently, "It really was not the smartest plan available. But Mr Stark does have an unfortunate tendency to _forgo the safety brief_ in any given situation."

"Yeah, I'll admit, my plan was mostly built from anger," Tony glanced at Happy. "I'll tell you the rest another time, though. Just know that it gets better before it gets worse, then _really_ worse, and then better again." 

Clint walked back into the room then, "Hey guys! I just had the best idea! Let's play Monopoly."

There was silence for a brief moment, before...

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Everyone turned to look at where both Rhodey and Happy were _collapsing_ with laughter, tears of mirth streaming down their faces. After a few minutes where it looked like they might be finally calming down, one glance at Clint's put out expression set them both off again. Another minute later had them both composed enough to talk without guffawing at the resident archer.

"What's so funny, guys?"

"You said- hahaha. You said that you wanted to-" Rhodey cut himself off again with another spurt of _giggles._

"Play Monopoly!" Happy finished for him, before they glanced at each other and burst out laughing again.

Everyone was looking at the two in extreme confusion, wondering what on _Earth_ (or off of it, for all they knew) had caused the two to react like that. Everyone except Pepper and Tony who were both looking at each other, trying not to smirk. They only succeeded because of their vast experience of containing emotions in the business world.

"What's wrong with playing Monopoly?" Sam asked, voice laced with heavy confusion, "I wouldn't mind a round."

Half the room murmured an assent, except for the Asgardians who said they would like to watch and learn how to play before getting involved.

Rhodey just shook his head and stared at them, "You're serious. You are _actually_ serious." He shared an incredulous look with Happy before muttering, "You guys should be able to pick up why this is a terrible idea, I mean, some you are _superspies_ and _geniuses._  OK, then, have at it. Me and Happy will just watch."

The other man snorted, "This is gonna be entertaining."

With that happy thought, Clint began setting up the Monopoly board while others who didn't want to play moved over to help advise the others. In the end, Phil, Jane, Bruce, Pepper, Clint, Tony, Natasha and Sam were the main players. Since some of the others wanted to be involved as well, they were allowed to advise whoever they wanted (mostly they just went to whoever they thought was going to win, so they could have some of the credit), but Pepper and Tony both quickly made a rule that they had to stick with the person they chose to support until the end of the game. The others were curious, but agreed, not noticing the wide grins they and Happy and Rhodey were sporting. Helen went to help Jane, Erik chose Bruce and Sam got Steve. Darcy, to the amusement of the others and annoyance of her chosen partner, sat herself right next to Phil and declared that she was going to test how unflappable he really was. When Loki enquired what she meant, she replied by saying that this game could go for _hours,_ unless someone flipped the board out of stress, and that Phil was _clearly_ the best choice of a poker face, except for maybe Natasha, so he was the most likely to win. 

With that, everyone resolved themselves to a long, challenging round of Monopoly.

_15 minutes later:_

"...What," Clint's sentiment was shared by all as they watched Tony and Pepper negotiate with each other, completely oblivious to everyone else they had managed to make bankrupt in the 15 minutes since the start of the game. No one was entirely sure how it had happened, especially in such a short time frame. Phil and Natasha had been the first to be knocked out of the game, Tony and Pepper both closing ranks around them in a few swift moves and working together in a way that was a credit to their years of experience in cooperation, but still allowing them their independence. Darcy had been inconsolable that the unflappable agents had been taken down so quickly. Clint's relief at lasting longer than Natasha had been very short lived when he too went bankrupt 1 minute later. From there, it had only taken a few minutes of carefully planned investments which no one noticed subtly screwing over their enterprises, before Jane, Bruce and Sam were wiped from the board. 15 minutes into the supposedly hour-long game, and the only two players left were... _ohhh._

"We just tried to play a business game against the ex and current CEOs of Stark Industries, arguably the most successful business in history," Erik voiced what they all suddenly realised.

"We were the idiots who chose to support the people going up against them," Helen put in with a distraught look, "Rhodey and Happy were right, we should've realised how this was going to end."

Everyone looked as one over to the couple who were still negotiating with each other, trying to gain the upper hand.

After a few moments of listening to the two of them talk in business terms that everyone was pretty sure weren't even in the rules, Darcy said with horrorfied realisation, "Oh God, I think this is, like, a _mating ritual_ for them."

Rhodey snorted from where he had approached the otehrs with Happy, Thor and Loki trailing behind. They all looked extremely amused. "This is _nothing,_ wait till you see them in a board meeting in real life. They could go on like this for _hours_ with neither of them winning. That's why we have Rule 12."

"Rule 12?" Natasha asked.

Rhodey was saved from answering when JARVIS' voice came in through the speakers, "Sir, Miss Potts. I regret to inform you that it has now been five minutes since the two of you caused all of your competition to go bankrupt. Rule 12 is now in effect."

"OK, OK, J." Tony sighed, "I guess we always knew it would come to this."

Pepper looked amused and energised, "This is how it always ends, Tony. Stop trying to be so dramatic."

He grinned, "Admit it, you like it when I'm dramatic."

"Perhaps I do. Ready?"

And with that, Tony and Pepper merged their companies.

"That's not in the rules," Phil noted, amused.

"No, but there've been too many instances where this game has gone on for over four hours with just those two picking at each other," Happy said, grinning outright at the others amused embarrassment at their defeat, "That's why we have rule 12. Once they reach the five minute mark of being the only two on the board, they have to merge."

"It truly was the best rule for everybody involved," JARVIS deadpanned.

Rhodey shuddered in memory, "You can say that again."

"Do they argue a lot? The further they get through the game?" Jane inquired, curious depsite herself.

"Worse, much worse," Rhodey shuddered again.

 _"They flirt with each other,"_ Happy faux whispered. _"Really openly. With_ innuendo. _"_

"I suppose you cannot enhear that," Loki put in, smirking in amusement.

"You have no idea," Rhodey responded.

"So guys," Tony cut in, grinning a shark's grin, "anyone wanna try for round two?"

There was a horrorfied pause.

"...This is your fault, Clint."


	3. Birthdays & Wagers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sudoku.
> 
> This one's on Bruce.

The Tower's residents reconvened on Tony's birthday for another of their Honorary Friday Nights. It was a testament to how well they were beginning to know each other that none of them questioned the fact that they were all invited to this one but not Tony's 'official' party in a few days time. They knew by now that a lot of the parties that Tony attended were more for networking rather than any actual enjoyment on his part, and that his birthday party, in particular, was show for the sharks of the media and politicians, rather than a celebration that Tony would like. 

So rather than be insulted at the lack of invitation (which they knew was actually a very generous kindness on both Tony and Pepper's part, since having someone like Steve, Rhodey, Sam, Helen or Thor show up would be a boon for what the party intended to accomplish, but also result in an entire night of being hounded) they all decided to make the most of Tony's actual birth date, and just hang out together.

Like a family.

And like all families on birthdays, they each brought Tony a present, wanting to show the genius just how well they each knew him.

It was this which lead to a night of headaches for Rhodey, Pepper, Happy and even JARVIS, and one of horror for everyone else. Except Tony, of course. No, his cackles could be heard long into the night, along with the sounds of furious debate among the others. 

It sure as shit wasn't what Bruce was expecting to come of his gift. 

~0~0~0~0~0~

"Helen, I'm not sure what this is, but I love it," were Tony's first words after a few bites of the... whatever it was that Helen had made for his birthday.

"This is what happens when you decide to mix different Korean, Indian and Thai styles of cooking. I am glad you like it, but to be perfectly honest, this would have turned out a lot worse without Erik and Bruce's help. I know all my mother's traditional recipes, but I've never been very good at cooking them." At the others curious looks, Helen added, "I was just trying to make japchae, but it wasn't going so well, so Bruce and Erik helped, but since they don't know many South Korean dishes, Bruce improvised by using some techniques he picked up in India and what he knew of Thai food. And this... whatever this is, was the result."

"Ugh, you guys do know that you don't have to use your PhDs in everything, right?" Darcy said with a mouth full of noodles, "I mean, I'm all for experimentation with food, but I draw the line at scientific jargon."

Erik huffed, "We aren't that bad, Darcy."

"Yeah, you kinda are."

"I must admit, I find myself pleasantly surprised by the variety and quality of food here on Midgard," Loki said after before taking another bite. "I normally have to travel far through the realms to experience just different tastes in food."

"Yes, each of the Nine Realms have their own style of food, and we have to travel to a different realm if we wish to try something different."

Loki looked at his brother, "I don't know what you're talking about, since you only ever go to the the Nine, and most of the time you, the Three and Sif just hunt for yourselves anyway."

"That is completely- OK, only partly, "Thor ammended as Loki raised a brow, "untrue. Besides, we almost always travelled together, and you never went anywhere other than the Nine either. Heimdall would have mentioned if you went elsewhere on the Bifrost."

"Oh please, brother," Loki scoffed. "You think the Bifrost is the only way to get to Asgard? Please. And I've been hiding from Heimdall's sight for centuries. I know how to shield myself, and he only sees what he looks for. Besides, you think that I only used travel with you and your friends? Or that I'd have taken you with me when I went to the less known, yet more interesting, places? When you were so culturely sensitive?" He added sarcastically.

Thor looked rather put out by the notion that he wasn't as well travelled as his younger brother. "But you must admit that travelling with me was always fun!"

"Either way, this is delicious," Pepper put in before Loki could reply. She knew the man could keep a debate like his going for hours if she wanted to.

"Definitely," Tony put in, helping himself to another large serve of... whatever it was.

"I am glad you like it, since it's your birthday and all," Helen answered with a smile.

"Wait, what?" Tony asked, surprised, "I thought that was in a few days."

"No, Tony," Pepper replied, patient and amused, "Your official 'party' is in two days. Did you really think that we wouldn't celebrate with you before then?"

Tony paused, "Actually, I thought the party was in four days. I legitimately thought that today was the... 26th? 27th? Hey, JARVIS, when is my birthday?

"You don't know the date of your own birthday?" Sam asked bemusedly.

"Mr Stark does have the unfortuneate tendency to forget the more 'sentimental' dates, Mr Wilson. Birthdays being a particular issue for him," Rhodey snorted and Pepper and Happy nodded in aggreement, along with Tony, who, for once, didn't try to protest. "And Sir, today is indeed the 29th of May, which is your birthday."

"Huh, how about that?" Tony said as everyone else snickered.

"And speaking of birthdays," Darcy interupted. "Time for the important part: presents!"

"Shouldn't the important part be the cake?" asked Bruce humourously.

"I thought it was the nice family celebration, where the people you cared about showed that they cared about you and acknowledged the day because you are important to them," Steve said wryly.

"No, it's definitely the presents," Clint said seriously. "This is the part where everyone gets to see who the better friends are and whoever gave the best gift is the recipient's favourite for the rest of the year."

"Damn, I didn't think of it like that," Erik muttered.

"That's because Clint reads into things too much," Natasha put in, a smile on her lips at her partner's antics.

"That, and he watches too many trashy chick-flicks," Phil said, deftly ignoring Clint's outraged squawks.

"You're just saying that because you only just realised how underprepared you are!"

While the SHIELD agents bickered, Tony looked to Pepper and they both smirked, "Well, this sounds like it will be interesting."

~0~0~0~0~0~

Half and hour and a heap of unwrapped and... _interesting_ gifts later, and Tony was just getting to the last one left. Everyone was comfortably sitting around the lounge room, watching as Tony reached into the brown, paper bag that Bruce had given him earlier. So they were all afforded a clear view of Tony's reaction to the sudoku book he pulled out of the bag, which was a - rather frightening - wide, slow grin, and a low, maniacal chuckle, which soon built into a cackle. Pepper, Rhodey and Happy all straightened immediately, with identiacal looks of horror as soon as they saw the book.

"Oh _shit,"_ Rhodey breathed, while Pepper raised a hand to her mouth and Happy sunk his head into his hands and gave a - rather accurate - rendition of Luke discovering his father was Darth Vader. Everyone else was... decidedly creeped out and confused.

(JARVIS' "Oh dear," did not help matters.)

"Uh, why do I feel like I just made a terrible, terrible mistake?" Bruce eventually said nervously.

Rhodey, after another moment of stupefied staring (and since Pepper and Happy were still catatonic), answered him in a halting whisper, "That, Dr Banner, is because you did. Rule 3: Tony is not allowed within 3 feet of a sudoku puzzle. Tony argues that it isn't his fault that the rest of us go crazy whenever he gets one, but we weren't taking any risks, so eventually we compromised. If he's challenged to do a sudoku or offered, or - God forbid - he is given one, he's allowed, but he can't seek one out for himself," Rhodey had to pause here in his renewed horror.

"But you, Dr Banner," Pepper murmured vacantly, her eyes still focused on where Tony had just pulled out a pen, and was still laughing like a lunatic, "have just given him an entire book of sudoku puzzles."

(Evereyone decided it would be best to ignore Happy's incessant mumblings of, "Not again not again not again not again...")

"I'm not sure I understand," Loki said in a clear, steady voice, although his eyes were still on Tony, tracking his every movement.

"You will, Loki," Rhodey said with certain finality and a hint of pity. "You will."

"OK, everyone," Tony finally drew everyone's attention, "I've finally had enough of the supervillain-evil-cackle, but I expect you, Clint, to inform Doom that I do it better than him the next time we run into him," Clint nodded in agreement. "Now, I just looked at the contents page, and the book has 1000 puzzles," Happy whimpered, _"and_ they're all diabolically hard," Rhodey closed his eyes in acceptance of his fate. "So, I'll leave it to you guys to decide whether we're doing this so I have to do a heap of them at once, or filling the blanks in a specific order, and also how many I'm doing tonight."

Everyone who had known Tony for less than five years stared.

"What the heck?" Darcy eventually said, thoroughly creeped out.

"I'll second that," Sam said, and the rest nodded or muttered affirmatives.

In the end, it was Happy who looked up from his distraught mumbling, long enough to take a deep breath and answer Tony's question, "Twenty-five, one after the other, left-to-right numbers, 5 minutes."

Tony laughed, "Happy, my man! Terms have been set and a bet made." Tony looked at the rest of them and smirked, with an alarming twinkle in his eye, "Anyone wanna challenge that?"

Clint frowned, "Wait, wha-?"

"5 minutes, 30- no, make that 20 seconds," Rhodey adjusted quickly.

Pepper followed immediately, "2:45."

There was a slight pause before JARVIS - surprisingly - added his own bet, "3 minutes."

Tony nodded, "OK, and you guys?" He looked at everyone else expectantly.

"I think you will have to explain this further, Tony," Thor spoke slowly, somewhat unnerved by how strangely his friends were acting.

"I agree," Steve said warily.

"Oh, it's simple. Just a little competition. Easy, really," Tony's reasurance did not do its job in the face of his friends'... faces.

"Uh-huh," Helen said warily.

"Yeah! OK, so whenever I end up with a sukoku puzzle, these guys always end up betting on how quickly I can finish them. Over the years we've come up with some different variations on how I have to do the puzzles, just to keep things interesting. Like, I might have to do multiple at once, or maybe I'll only be able to fill in the blanks in a specific order, maybe I'll only be allowed to use one hand - just to add time for when I have to turn the page, or maybe I'll do a heap of those things. In this case, Hap was the one who set the terms, so I have to do 25 puzzles consecutively - bit simple if you ask me - and he also bet on me doing it in 5 minutes. You heard the others bets... You know what? JARVIS, get a holo in here to show everyone's bet," A pink hologram appeared in the air which outlined the terms and showed a photo of everyone's faces (or icon, in JARVIS' case). There were times written next to Happy, Pepper, JARVIS' and Rhodey's name, and a dash next to each one of the others. It was fantastic, glorious, professional and entirely nonsensical.

"...I cannot believe that this is a thing," Darcy said, open mouthed. "Tony, I can not believe that you programmed a hologram to show everyone's bets on this."

Tony laughed gleefully, "Oh no, Darcy, that is where you're wrong. This was entirely J and Rhodey's doing. I was being serious when I said that they others were the crazy ones in this situation, I was honestly just in it for the puzzles before these four decided to start betting on it. They did this to themselves."

The others might not have believed him, if not for the true joy they could see in his face at being able to honestly say that, and the way that Happy, Pepper and Rhodey all slumped in defeat and JARVIS made a sound that approximated a sigh through the speakers. 

"So... What'd you guys bet?" Tony said eventually with a smirk.

There was a pause, before...

"6 minutes," Phil's voice said calmly, before adding in a lower tone that everyone still heard, "Why do I feel like I regret this already?"

"Because you probably will," Natasha supplied, before sighing herself, "But so will I. 7:30."

After that, it was not very long before the others had all placed their bets. Out of everyone whose first time this was, no one said anything lower than Phil's straight 6. The highest was 32 hours 47 minutes ("seriously, Clint? Ye of little faith, much. Also... oddly specific.").

"Guys, I get that he's a genius, but there's no freaking way that he's getting 25 of this things done in under 24 hours," said Sam confidently. He had bet 25 hours.

Bruce sighed, "You know, I would have agreed with you there. In fact, I still don't see how that could be done. No one is that good at sudoku, not even Tony Stark. But..." he gestured towards where Happy, Pepper and Rhodey looked like they were preparing for battle, "I've learned to not doubt these guys when it comes to Tony. I still don't get how he could do 25 of those so quick, though." Bruce had bet on 13 minutes.

"This does seem a little far fetched to me," Helen put in, and Jane nodded in agreement. They had said 30 and 29 hours, respectively.

"I am very interested in seeing how this is going to play out," Loki said with a smirk, already anticipating a delightfully fun outcome. He suspected that 24 minutes would be the closest, since it was just under 25 minutes, meaning that there would be one puzzle completed each minute.

"As am I!" Thor said happily, enjoying watching the others as they debated. He chose 7 minutes, because it was a lucky number, and also because 6 had already been taken by Phil.

Steve shook his head in mock sadness, "I think that we're going to get bored of this after the first half hour."

"Hey, just because you think I can't do it in under 10 minutes, Capsicle!" Tony ribbed goodnaturedly. "I mean, 20 hours?! And Erik, why 21 hours?"

"Because Steve said 20 before I could," was Erik's muttered response.

"Hey guys, are we going to start this or what?" Darcy eventually called out, impatient to see whether her guess of 50 minutes was going to beat Jane, Clint, Phil, Erik, Loki and Sam (it was that moment that she realised that she was a very competitive person).

"Yeah, OK," said Tony, before he pulled out a pen and sat, kneeling, on the carpet in front of the coffee table. The book was opened to a near blank page before the puzzles began in front of him. Everyone surrounded him subconsciously, intrigued.

"You guys ready?"

"As we can be," Rhodey responded solemnly.

"Alright. J?"

"Sir," the AI responded. "The time starts on 0. 3, 2, 1, 0."

"Go! Go! Go, Tony!" Everyone who had never seen this before, stared, shocked, as Pepper immediate;y began yelling encouragements, which were followed by Happy and Rhodey's. It was almost enough to distract from the way that Tony had flicked over the page, glanced at the puzzle for a second, and then began to fill in all the blank spaces, going from left-to-right, which was amazing and... impossible.

"How the hell is he doing that?!" Bruce asked in wonderment. "No, seriously, that should be impossible. That's not how these puzzles work!"

"It is how they work for Mr Stark, Dr Banner," JARVIS' voice was filled with fondness for his father. He was paying avid attention to the clock and hoping that Tony would make it to the 3 minute mark, but he was much too civilised to yell out encouragements the way that his older friends were, so he was able to answer the doctor's question.

"But... _how!?_ How come he can do this out of order!?"

"It's easy, Brucie," Tony answered calmy without looking up, seemingly oblivious to his friends who were all yelling at him in encouragement - or to slow down - as he finished with his 9th puzzle. "Just look at the numbers available, see where they 'burn the path', memorise the map and fill it in. It's just a matrix." 

"Go Tony!"

"No- shit! Slow down a little, Tones!"

"Slow down, Boss!"

"C'mon!"

"Go Tony! I know I lost this bet, but try and make sure Tasha doesn't win!"

"Slow down, Metal-Man!"

"Faster!"

"GO GO GO GO GOOO!"

"This is awesome!"

Tony slammed his pen on the table, and said "Done," in a parody of what exams were like.

Sam shook his head disbelievingly, "I cannot believe that that just happened."

"Don't worry, thats a common phrase used around Tony to start out with, but you get used to it eventually," Happy revealed with a smile.

"JARVIS, time?" Pepper and Rhodey both asked at the same time.

"It is my duty to inform you that the time of completion was 2 minutes and 40 seconds-"

"Yes!" Pepper yelled in uncharacteristic triumph, while everyone else let out a variation of "Dammit!" or "Shit!"

"-making Miss Potts the winner as she was the closestand only 5 seconds off," JARVIS finished, professionally.

"Crap! OK, let's do it again," Erik said eagerly, as he, Thor, Darcy, Jane, Clint, Loki,  and pretty much everyone else jumped at the opportunity to try again.

Tony shook his head in bewilderment, "I swear; every time. It's like I'm a pokey machine, you all seem so addicted to gambling on my abilities."

"Tony?"

"Yeah, Steve?"

"Shut up and get ready for round 2."

~0~0~0~0~0~

_3 and a half hours later_

"That was a great birthday, thank you guys."

Tony's bright tone was met with a chorus of groans. The memory kept the smile on his face, when he went to his official party a few days later.


End file.
